UGH

The problem with driving an old car is that crap happens. Well okay crap happens to everybody and everything, the problem is that crap happens to older cars with greater regularity. Don't get me wrong my 190D has been a great car but the rear diff is getting really noisy and needs replacement bad. I've got a couple options for getting a replacement but none of them is working the way I'd like.
So my plan right now is to get my butt in gear and get the 240D (Hammie) back on the road. The thing thats keeping that car off the road right now is brakes. Specifically the front brakes and the stuck parking brake cable. I think the parking brake cable will free up with some solvent and a hammer. The front brakes however get us into the scary world of bearings. On this particular car the brake rotors are super rusty. I've already replaced the rear rotors which is a really easy job. The fronts however are bolted to the wheel hub which is supported by the wheel bearings, you can't remove the rotor without removing the hub and you can't remove the hub without disturbing the bearing.

I have this image of my screwing this up, the bearing chewing a channel through the spindle and the wheel falling off while I'm cruising down the highway. I have this other image of the rear diff on the 190D failing and catapulting me into oncoming traffic. Neither is an image I'm real excited about. It must be really nice to be ignorant... Anyway I'm reasonably sure neither of those situations is going to happen, what would probably happen in both cases is the noise would get so bad I'll pull over and get the car towed...

So I'm just terrified of this job and I don't know why, millions of idiots replace wheel bearings all the time and I've made a point of pride in myself of not being afraid of anything, I'm a teacher for God's sake, I hang it out there in front of people every day!
Okay good, I've built my dander up, in fact I really wish I could just do the stupid bearings right now.. Alas that isn't going to happen. I don't have the correct grease and what really makes me nervous is that while I'm sure Mobil 1 wheel bearing grease is just fine I don't know how much to use. Part of me says "hell just use some, the correct grease is on its way, just do it again later". Legions of rednecks are screaming "USE WHATS IN YOUR GREASE GUN"...

Sigh, I blame this all on my parents, my Dad somehow lost some of his redneck roots at some point and I never got to learn any of this from him. I'm not a redneck but for some reason I have the desire...